Tag Archives: vegan

JUNKIE

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While I was at dinner last night, I heard the lad at the next table screaming to his dinner guest that he “wanted to go vegetarian but didn’t want to be an inconvenience.”

I wanted to spit my Blueberry Belch Beer in his face.

Your food choices, sir, are not inconvenient.

Your choice to yell them across the bar, however, is.

I think it’s a myth that its difficult to eat a vegetarian, vegan, or plant based diet.

It takes some time, some adjusting, and some pre-planning, but once you’ve set your mind to it, its not difficult to learn to love fruits, vegetables, beans, and grains.

Those are all healthy, veg-friendly foods.

Which leads to the next myth.

The myth that if something is vegan, it’s healthy.

With an ever expanding niche food market, there are plenty of vegan junk foods and many convenience foods that are “accidentally vegan.”

Here’s just a few:

OREOS

Makes you wonder what is exactly in the cream filling, eh?

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SMUCKER’S UNCRUSTABLES

This is a surprise because most breads these days contain milk. Check your labels carefully.

Uncrustable

DUNCAN HINES’ HOMESTYLE FROSTING

I can make vegan frosting and yet somehow it surprised me that you could buy  vegan frosting from a major food company. It shouldn’t be surprising ,though, considering its much cheaper and more shelf stable to use hydrogenated shortening instead of butter.

Duncan Hines Frosting

DEL-MONTE CREAM STYLE CORN

Apparently “Cream Style” has nothing to do with real cream!

Cream Style Corn

NUTTER BUTTERS

My step-dad eats a steady diet of these peanut butter cookies. He’s half-way to being vegan and didn’t even know it!

Nutter Butter

LICORICE

A lot of candy has gelatin which is not veg-friendly. Licorice does not contain gelatin. Score for the vegans  horse hooves.

twizzlers

POTATO CHIPS

It’s not shocking that a potato chip is vegan. It doesn’t mean it’s healthy though.

potato chips

KRISPY KREME FRUIT PIE

No “kreme” here!

krispy kreme fruit pie

PILLSBURY CRESCENT ROLLS

“Big and Buttery” is plastered across the package and yet, no actual butter in sight!

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NON-DAIRY ICE CREAM

Non-dairy ice Cream is one of the foods that people want to believe is healthier if it’s vegan. Its still fat and sugar, people. Eat it but be mindful that 1/2 cup can contain 250 calories and 18 grams of fat which is the equivalent of premium dairy based ice creams.

coconut ice cream

(Some) NON-DAIRY MILKS

Become a label reader. Some sweetened non-dairy milks contain anywhere from 12-20 grams of sugar. There are 16 grams of sugar in a full tablespoon. It’s something to think about if you’re pouring it over a bowl of frosted flakes (which also happen to be vegan!) every morning.

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The good news is that if you’re stuck in a gas station in Kentucky, you can probably find some vegan fare to tide you over. The bad news is that if you choose these foods on a regular basis, you’ll fare no better than your standard junk food junkie.

Choose wisely.

But don’t feel the need to scream your choices across a busy bar.

Nothing ruins a meal quite like the diner who preaches the evils of meat eating over a plate of pot roast.

Save it for the dessert course.

You know, the row of Oreos and Chocolate Soy Milk that you’ll be shoving in your face.

If you do get stuck in a gas station in Kentucky, check out PETA’s full list of “Accidentally Vegan” foods:

http://www.peta.org/living/vegetarian-living/accidentally-vegan.aspx

Hot Dog

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I feel like summer came and just smacked me in the face.

Suddenly I want to do all the summer things.

Ride bikes.

Drink iced coffee from mason jars.

Go treasure hunting at the local flea market

Drink beer from mason jars.

Eat hot dogs.

Teach the (real) dog how to typewriter some corn.

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Nothing goes better with grilled corn than some veggie hot dogs and all the fixin’s.

When we were treasure hunting, we stumbled on some locally made hot and sweet pickles.

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Half the jar immediately made it  into my mouth.

The other half made it into a homemade relish.

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PINEAPPLE PICKLE RELISH

1 cup fresh pineapple

1 cup “hot and sweet” pickles + juice

1 bunch green onion, chopped

Add pineapple, pickles, and green onion to food processor.

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Pulse until all ingredients are chopped very fine. 

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Makes about 1 cup. 

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Here’s to summer and all its

festivities!

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Spring Fling

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Guess what showed up at the local orchard this weekend?

For only being the beginning of Spring, these strawberries were as sweet as a summer’s pie.

It seemed wrong to use them in a recipe.

Criminal, even.

When I woke up on Saturday the sun was streaming in through the kitchen window and blades of  fresh, green grass were beginning to break through winter’s barren ground.

It was going to be 50 degrees.

That’s like a heat wave around these parts.

Practically a dream come true.

It had me craving the bright, fruity flavors of spring and summer.

So I washed myself a bowl of super sweet berries and made a frosty dip for them.

ORANGE DREAMSICLE DIP

2 frozen bananas, chopped

1 orange + zest

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Zest the orange and set the zest aside.

Peel the orange and chop roughly.

Add the frozen bananas, orange pieces, and vanilla extract to a blender or food processor.

Process until creamy, dreamy, and smooth.

Stir in orange zest.

Transfer to a bowl and serve with fruit.

Or just insert a straw and sip.

When I finally got myself together for an afternoon bike ride, I stepped out into the drive-way to say hello to Mr. Sun.

And then immediately turned around to get my mittens.

Fifty degrees is cold.

My little fling with spring was short lived.

I was a popsicle by the time I got off of my bicycle.

Which is exactly why I enjoyed a hot toddy when I got home.

Nothing helps with muscle recovery like a hot whiskey with lemon.

I’m still trying to recover from the whiskey, though.

HAPPY WEEKEND-ING! 

Rabbit Food

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Every year, I do my best to lure the Easter Bunny to my house.

Muffins?

Bunny Butter?

Cocktail?

I thought long and hard about it this year.

Candy just won’t do.

E.B. already carries around baskets full of chocolates, candy, and other sweet treats.

So I knew he wouldn’t want any of those things in return.

No, I had to get him by the bunny ears.

The fastest way to a bunny’s basket is through his stomach.

And this recipe is 14 carrot gold.

Bunny Bait Salad

1 (10 oz.) package matchstick carrots

1 cup diced pineapple (or canned pineapple tid-bits)

1 cup red grapes, halved

1/4 cup ground almonds

2 tablespoons orange marmelade

1 tablespoon walnut oil

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper (optional)

Add carrots, pineapple, grapes, and almonds to large bowl.

Whisk together marmalade and walnut oil.

Tidbit: Walnut oil is pretty expensive. If you can’t find it or  don’t want to pay for it, you can use any neutral flavored oil like canola or grapeseed. 

Pour dressing over the carrots and toss gently to combine.

HAPPY EASTER!

Killer Cereal

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You know what I’m really bad at?

A lot of things.

But you know what I’m really, really bad at?

Making decisions.

Oh, not major life decisions.

I knew I wanted to go to college before I even went to full day kindergarten.

I didn’t get cold feet before my wedding because I was more than sure I was ready to be a Mrs.

I put my life savings toward my very first home with hardly a care that I would

potentially have to eat Oodles of Noodles for the next 30 years.

Life might actually be easier if I was forced to eat Oodles of Noodles for the duration of my home loan.

Because then I wouldn’t have to decide what to eat.

I.can.never.decide.what.I.want.to.eat.

I have literally stared into cupboards for upwards of 45 minutes trying to decide what I want.

I want everything.

And nothing.

My step-dad has been witness to this.

If he came into the kitchen and found me planted in front of the pantry for longer than it would take a lasagna to cook, he would look at me and chuckle…

“Looks like its a cereal for dinner kind of night.”

Yes!

Cereal!

Jeeze louise, there are 7 kinds of cereal in there.

This is never going to end.

But cereal-ously, I love cereal.

And granola.

And granola cereal.

And chocolate granola cereal.

Because sometimes, nothing will do for dinner besides a big old bowl of  cereal granola.

Cocoa Crunch Granola

2 cups old-fashioned oats

2 cups crisp rice cereal

1/4 cup cocoa powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

pinch salt

1/4 cup maple syrup

2 tablespoons peanut butter

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

*Tidbit: You can also use 1 tablespoon of canola oil for a nut free granola*

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large bowl, mix together oats, rice cereal, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt.

If you want crispy granola, you must use crisp rice cereal. Also known as Rice Krispies for the upper middle class that can afford such name brand-ary.

Does there really need to be baking soda in granola? Well, no. But it makes the cocoa taste less bitter.

 

Add peanut butter (or canola oil, if using) and maple syrup.

Mix until oats and rice cereal are evenly coated.

Spread onto a baking sheet.

Bake for 8-10 minutes

*Tidbit: Check frequently since granola tends to burn quickly!

This has a lot of sugar to be eating giant bowls of it, but feel free to sprinkle it on smoothies, fruit, non-dairy yogurt, or just eat it by the handful.

But if you’re eating it for dinner, by all means, load the bowl up.

Well, shoot.

Now I have to decide what I want for breakfast.

KEEP CALM AND CRUNCH ON!

See Money

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Here’s what I could do with $400.00:

Buy 28 cute spring scarves from Target.

source

Stock up on 266 cans of pumpkin

Finally get a smart phone

source

 Gift a llama to a family in Africa.

 OR

Or I could get new glasses.

Oh, that doesn’t include the frames.

Just the lenses.

That’s exactly how I wanted to spend a whole month’s worth of groceries: on fragile pieces of glass for my face.

I thought I could save money by using my old frames.

Too bad they charged me for that too.

Good thing this recipe is free.

Gluten-free, that is.

I thought I would spring for gluten free pasta since I’ve never had it and I like to try new things.

If I can’t have new glasses, at least I can have new pasta.

And adding fun things like zucchini, red pepper, and raisins almost made me forget the half of a mortgage payment I just dropped on spectacles.

Next time I might add some vision enhancing foods like carrots, walnuts, or tofu.

But this recipe is light, springy and perfect for your Easter table.

Springin’ Vegetable Pasta

8 oz. gluten free pasta

2 tablespoons olive oil, divided

3 stalks celery, chopped

1 red pepper, chopped

1 zucchini, chopped

1 bunch basil, chopped

1/2 cup raisins

1 teaspoon rice vinegar

1 lemon, juiced

3/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

Prepare pasta according to package directions.

Tidbit: Pinterest Success! A wooden spoon over the pot really does prevent the water from boiling over!

In a large saucepan,  add half of the olive oil, celery, red pepper, and zucchini.

Cook for 7-8 minutes over medium heat until vegetables are tender.

Add drained pasta, basil, rice vinegar, lemon juice, salt, pepper, and remaining olive oil.

Add the raisins and toss gently to combine.

Add additional salt and pepper to taste.

This is a fantastic Easter recipe for those of you that have gluten free family members.

You’ll see.

I, however, won’t be seeing anything until I can save enough pennies for my prescription lenses.


SEE you later!

Pump up the Jam

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Breakfast is my jam lately.

As in, massive amounts of jam make its way into or onto every single breakfast.

Those all fruit jams at the store are great, but they can be a bit pricey (a lot pricy) and come in minuscule amounts.

You can make your own at home.

You don’t even have to spend hours in the berry patch picking your fruit.

Since, you know, its not even near berry pickin’ time.

And since it is freezing outside it only makes sense that your berries will come from the freezer too.

All you need is your favorite frozen fruit and some fresh fruit that naturally has a high amount of pectin.

Pectin.

The powdery stuff that costs an arm and a leg at the grocery store and is practically non-existant in the winter months.

The stuff your grandmother uses to make her generations old jam recipe.

The stuff that is so fickle, you can never get it the way your  Granny did, leaving your jam runny, watery, and soupy.

Or maybe I’m the only one who spends 8 hours in the kitchen boiling fruit, adding pectin, sterilizing jars, canning, and waiting for the inevitable final product of fruit soup.

Fruit soup does not work nicely on a cashew butter and jelly.

And husbands get mad when jam oozes out onto their work uniforms.

Hulk-ishly mad.

So because berry season is an interminable amount of months away, because fresh fruit comes from countries that I can barely geographically locate, and because store bought all-fruit jam contains about a spoonful of actual product, I present you with this jammin’ recipe.

It’s easily customizable to your favorite fruit and fun additions like orange zest, citrus juice, or flavor extracts like vanilla and almond.

Fruits high in pectin that can be used include apples, plums, grapes, and citrus peels. Unripe fruit contains more pectin so now you have a use for those rock hard plums. Also, most of the pectin is in the skin of the fruit so don’t get all peel-y with it.

Just get jammin’.

Frozen Fruit Jam

2 plums

2 ( 12  oz.) bags of frozen blueberries

Juice + zest of 1 orange

Zest the orange and set the zest aside.

Slice and chop the plums.

You can’t taste the plums. They really just help to thicken up the jam.

Add the plums to a medium sized pot over low-medium heat and cook for a minute or too until softened.

Add the frozen blueberries and the juice from the orange.

Cook for 20-30 minutes or until jam gets nice and thick.

Remove from heat and add the orange zest.

Tidbit: The jam will thicken significantly when cooled completely.

And that’s my jam.

Fire Fighting

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Everyone in my family is flaming.

Wait.

That’s not right.

Everyone in my family is inflamed. 

Arthritis, IBS, bone pain, joint pain, headaches, allergies.

And that’s just my sister.

Rumor has it you can fight inflammation with an anti-inflamatory diet.

It was like the ultimate challenge when my sister asked me to help her come up with some meal ideas for her anti-inflammatory and anti-allergen diet.

Ok, she didn’t ask.

I practically tripped over my oven mitts begging her to let me meal plan for her.

Her diet requirements include:

No meat, eggs, dairy, white fish, nuts, gluten, wheat, rye, corn, citrus fruit, apples, bananas, tomatoes, spinach, lettuce, paprika, coffee, and processed foods. 

It seems limiting but there are actually a ton of foods she can eat.

Flameless foods like brown rice, oatmeal, quinoa, tofu, kale, broccoli, peppers, onions, squash, sweet potatoes, beans, seeds, lentils, beans, peas, olive oil, and canola oil. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All healthy things.

That are delicious when you know how to cook them.

I was so excited.

That is until she told me the rest of her own personal criteria.

1. No creamy food.

2. No thick food.

3. No mushy food.

4. No oatmeal

5. Nothing that needs a lot of prep work.

6. Nothing that takes too long to cook.

7. Nothing that takes food too far away from its original form.

8. Absolutely no oatmeal.

Seriously, what is it with this girl and textures?

I’ve had migraines that hurt less than my head hurt after she got done with that list.

I was so excited.

Here’s the fastest, non-creamiest, un-mushiest, sans oatmeal, flameless, and allergy free meal I could come up with.

(withwhitebeansbecauseyouneedtolearntolikebeansbecausetheyhaveprotienfiberandhealthycarbohydrates)

Mediterranean Roasted Red Pepper and Artichoke Salad 

1 (14 oz.) can artichoke hearts

1 ( 12 oz.) jar roasted red peppers

12 pitted Kalamata olives

1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar

2 teaspoons olive oil

2 teaspoons Italian Seasoning

1 bunch fresh basil (about 1/2 cup)

salt + pepper to taste

1 (15 oz) can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed (optional)

Drain artichoke and roasted red pepper.

Add to a medium sized bowl.

Add olives.

Add balsamic vinegar, olive oil, Italian seasoning, and chopped basil.

Add cannelini beans if using.

And you are using them.

Be not afraid! Cannellini beans are just white kidney beans. If you don’t like cannellini, you could substitute any bean or even lentils.

Gently toss everything together.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Best served room temperature or cold.

But very tasty warmed through.

 HAPPY HEALING!

Branded

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A craving smashed into me on Saturday like Chris Brown’s fist into Rhianna’s face.

Oh man, that was so mean.

But that was the intensity of this craving.

And like Rhianna deciding to to get back together with an abusive waste of space, this was the dumbest craving ever.

I seriously wanted, no needed, a bran muffin.

A bran freakin’ muffin.

Who craves that?!?!

But it had to be a good bran muffin.

Some bran muffins are shiesters and go around masquerading as healthy when they’re really loaded with fat, sugar and more sugar.

But no one wants a bran muffin that tastes like cardboard either.

In a fight against bad tasting muffins, I put the beat down on some bran.

They’re nutritious and taste good.

It basically does all the things a good bran muffin should do.

Like I told it to.

APPLE BRAN MUFFINS

1 1/2 cups natural applesauce

1 cup non-dairy milk

1/2 cup molasses

2 tablespoons canola oil

1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

1 3/4 cup white whole wheat flour

1 cup wheat bran

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup chopped nuts, optional

Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees.

Mix applesauce, non-dairy milk, molasses, canola oil, and apple cider vinegar.

In a large bowl, whisk together white whole wheat flour, bran, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

Tidbit: Make sure to use WHITE WHOLE WHEAT FLOUR. It’s softer and less chewy than regular whole wheat flour.

Make a well in the dry ingredients and add the wet ingredients.

Stir just until combined.

Pour into greased muffin pans.

Sprinkle with chopped nuts, if using.

If using a mini-muffin pan, bake for 12-14 minutes.

*I have no idea how long regular muffins would take. Start with 12-14 minutes and then continue cooking until the tops spring back when touched. I always under-bake my muffins by a minute or two since they continue cooking once you remove them from the oven. 

Grab a fist full of mini bran muffins and stuff your face.

Now that’s what I call a balanced meal.

Egg-scluded

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Sometimes its hard living so far away from family.

Like when your sister calls you and tell you she’s basically allergic to everything.

Well, not everything.

I think she can eat toast.

Gluten free toast with non-dairy butter.

And make sure the toast isn’t within a 12 foot radius of an egg.

Yeah.

Egg.

“What am I going to eat?” she wailed from eight hundred miles away.

We weren’t on the phone.

I could hear her yelling that loud.

She proceeded to list 16 other things that her allergy test came back positive for.

How traumatic. 

Traumatic that her food lovin’ sistah lives so far away.

I basically wanted to Fed-Ex her Sunday brunch.

She’ll have to settle for a photograph.

With a recipe!

When you can’t (or don’t) eat eggs, you might be surprised to learn that crumbled tofu cooked until warm has a similar texture and mouthfeel as eggs. It doesn’t taste exactly the same but a little salt and pepper go a long way in the flavor department. 

Tofu Scramble

1 (12 oz) block of  firm tofu

1/2 teaspoon canola oil

1/8 teaspoon turmeric powder

salt + pepper to taste

Drain tofu and press out excess water.

No need to get technical here. Just press the tofu with paper towel to absorb excess liquid.

Use your hands to crumble the tofu into a medium sized pan.

Add canola oil and sprinkle with turmeric.

Cook over medium heat until warmed through.

(This takes less than five minutes).

Add salt and pepper to taste.

If my sister is anything like me (she’s not) she’ll probably want ketchup for her scramble (she probably doesn’t).

But since she’s also potentially allergic to any processed food with added “spices” she’s going to need to learn how to make her own.

I would have sent her this batch but I used it all to make sloppy lentils.

Yup.

Sure did.

HOMEMADE KETCHUP

*Adapted from Giada De Laurentiis

1 (15 oz.) can tomato sauce

3 tablespoons tomato paste

1/2 cup apple cider vinegar

1/2 cup turbinado sugar (or light brown sugar)

1 tablespoon salt

1 small onion, peeled and quartered.

Combine tomato sauce, tomato paste, vinegar, sugar, and salt in a small sauce pan. Add quartered onion and simmer for one hour or until thick.

Cool and store in an airtight container.

Makes about two cups.

My sister and I may share DNA but we do not share tastebuds.

She pretty much hates everything I like.

But if she really can’t ever eat eggs again, she’s about to become a huge tofu fan.

Just like her sister.

Embrace it!